Did you know that The Brady Bunch was the first show on TV that showed a husband and wife sleeping in the same bed? Believe it or not, but before then, TV shows would never allow that to be seen. They either had them in separate beds or just stayed away from showing it in a scene.
Have you noticed how these days TV shows are far from the Brady Bunch?
Now of course I'm not suggesting that we switch back to being THAT conservative necessarily. However, it's quite a jump that TV has taken, don't you think? Nowadays TV producers are scared to put anything on TV and I mean anything and quite frankly I think it's effecting us and our views on everything in life.
Don't take me as someone who only advocates for G and PG rated movies and wants to destroy anything else. But it's the fact that these things we see daily on TV, are not wholesome and normal environments. Every family that we see in shows these days is very unhealthy.
Think about all the comedy shows that we enjoy watching. Once we get past the jokes and aspects of it that makes it funny, you start to notice how mean the wives are to their husbands, how dumb the husbands are portrayed, and how dishonest and unloving everyone is in the family. I'll admit, it might make it more entertaining, however that is not true. Most families are not broken down that unhealthily. No TV, not every family has had parents that have committed adultery or a son/daughter that is bisexual or gay. While trying to cater to these more uncommon situations so that some families don't feel left out, they have gotten caught up in it and turned it into our whole world, meanwhile healthy families where there is no betrayal or dishonesty have become the minority.
What happened to traditional families?
TV stations are slowly but surely breaking down the family system.
ABC Family, was once what it was. Then when they began breaking away from what they stood for they turned their slogan into "A new kind of family". It's supposed to be for the family but now it is full of garbage when you think about it. But because they were still under contract with their providers, as long as they were ABC Family, they still had to show The 700 Club, which is a religious program. So they put it late at night when nobody would see it on TV.
Now, if you haven't heard, ABC Family is changing and calling themselves "Freeform".
It seems, to me that this is a step to breaking even farther away from the family, following the spiral downhill that so many other TV stations have taken, eliminating any chance for us to get real and good exposure to how a family is supposed to run.
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Is Dating Going Out of Style?
What makes a date, a date?
In a nutshell it's:
-Planned
-Paid for
-Paired off
But what's considered dating today? Besides "Netflix and chill"...
Dating has gone out of style. But then people will say "Wait but I'm dating him though!" But that's the thing. The definition of dating has changed and I think it's beginning to be a problem. We aren't being formal anymore or respecting each other enough to make a date or call it what it is. Guy's don't open doors for girls, and girls don't except them too anymore.
Nowadays, we use dating as term meaning that we're in an exclusive relationship with someone. Today, people seem to be scared of the word! It's like a virus to us because we're worried to bring it up to the other.
People are worried to say that they're dating until they become boyfriend and girlfriend. But then, the other problem with that is - do people really still go on dates after they're in an official relationship...
Dating has become less formal and less obvious. Instead of planning out an activity and time, the guy paying, and being paired off with a specific date, we're saying "Hey so uh...I'm bored, wanna hang out on my couch?"
When we're in this (what would be courting) stage we're always more cautious and unclear now using terms like "hanging out" and we're "talking" because we don't want to imply the crazy idea that we actually like each other. Weird huh?
I think there's a fear around the word "dating" now and there's more pressure on the word because dating is a status now not an action.
So here's my idea: We bring back dating. We bring back courting. We need to step up and stop this cowaring in "talking" phase and call it what it is. Show your true feelings. Guys are gentlemen and open doors for ladies. The girls respect themselves more and raise their standards of dating. And boom. Problem solved.
Okay maybe not entirely, but enough to bring back that beautiful old fashion sense of love and romance that every girl longs for. You know you've seen those Nicholas Sparks movies.
In a nutshell it's:
-Planned
-Paid for
-Paired off
But what's considered dating today? Besides "Netflix and chill"...
Dating has gone out of style. But then people will say "Wait but I'm dating him though!" But that's the thing. The definition of dating has changed and I think it's beginning to be a problem. We aren't being formal anymore or respecting each other enough to make a date or call it what it is. Guy's don't open doors for girls, and girls don't except them too anymore.
Nowadays, we use dating as term meaning that we're in an exclusive relationship with someone. Today, people seem to be scared of the word! It's like a virus to us because we're worried to bring it up to the other.
People are worried to say that they're dating until they become boyfriend and girlfriend. But then, the other problem with that is - do people really still go on dates after they're in an official relationship...
Dating has become less formal and less obvious. Instead of planning out an activity and time, the guy paying, and being paired off with a specific date, we're saying "Hey so uh...I'm bored, wanna hang out on my couch?"
When we're in this (what would be courting) stage we're always more cautious and unclear now using terms like "hanging out" and we're "talking" because we don't want to imply the crazy idea that we actually like each other. Weird huh?
I think there's a fear around the word "dating" now and there's more pressure on the word because dating is a status now not an action.
So here's my idea: We bring back dating. We bring back courting. We need to step up and stop this cowaring in "talking" phase and call it what it is. Show your true feelings. Guys are gentlemen and open doors for ladies. The girls respect themselves more and raise their standards of dating. And boom. Problem solved.
Okay maybe not entirely, but enough to bring back that beautiful old fashion sense of love and romance that every girl longs for. You know you've seen those Nicholas Sparks movies.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Boys & Girls: we're not the same
This week I want to talk about a sort of sensitive subject at this day n age...
Gender roles. The differences. And yes, there are differences.
During my studies and research and many classes that I have taken and discussed this subject in, I have found that certain differences are there in our brains and genetic makeup that make us girls different from you boys.
I think we can come up with the obvious differences right off the bat that in most cases are true.
Female traits: Male traits:
relationship & detail oriented action & spatial oriented
communication driven task driven
naturally nurturing naturally provider
In one of my sociology
classes we discussed these differences and gender roles. We watched a video where they did an
experiment on the differences between the genders by interacting with an
observing a bunch of young kids. What I thought was really interesting
that they found kind of goes along with what we found in class; it
seemed that with the children whose parents made sure to raise them
"gender neutral" and give them gender neutral toys all the time, still
had the same habits and played the same way the rest of their gender
did. If the boys were handed pink girl toys, they would still find a way
to play with them in a destructive way or knock things down with them.
The girls, no matter the differences in the way that they were raised
and no matter the toy, still somehow turned their playing into a type of
role playing, like house, teacher, etc. They were still more focused on
the nurturing aspect throughout their playing.
The
parents, when they viewed these results, were more or less surprised by
what they learned. This was mostly because some parents had tried hard
to raise their kids a gender neutral way so that their kids could learn
to and feel comfortable with identifying with whichever gender they
later decided they identified with. But the studies and observations
showed that whichever way these kids were raised did not make a
difference. It seems to be just a part of their genetic make up that
they are born with. Boy and girls are just different.We can act toward our children in the same way, but they react differenly.
And the most important thing that I think we need to remember is that we need both of these roles in life. There is a reason we are created differently - to balance each other out.
We need to "complete, not compete with the opposite sex".
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Cultures & Systems
Most of us know what a culture is right?
You know, a pattern of beliefs and behaviors shared by a group of people.
We all know our specific cultures depending on where we live, and maybe we know our specific cultures of our religion as well. But did you know that cultures exist within families as well? Meaning, your own family can make up its own culture.
Now when learning about that part, I stopped for a little bit to think about what my family's culture would be made up of, and I'd encourage whoever is reading this to do the same. It's interesting to start viewing your family from the outside and finally recognizing these things that make your family what it is.
Whatever your culture is, it makes up your family system. What goes and what doesn't, what's weird and what's normal. Here are some things to think about with your family:
Some families might have cultures where they encourage differences or new ways of thinking that's outside of the family. Or if your family is like mine, they may not really welcome that sort of behavior or feel comfortable with it or think that it's weird if someone "goes outside the norm".
You might also have to think about changes in your family system that affect your culture. For example, separation in the family can cause a change of roles. If the parents are gone for an extended time, the children might bond more with the closest grandparents or uncle that takes care of them. This causes a shift of culture to follow the standards of those grandparents or that uncle that might be different from what it was with the regular parents around.
I think that usually family cultures aren't something that we decide on and set up on our own or something that we can just change as we please. I think they're something that is unconciously formed along with the formation of the family. However, even if the system of culture in your family can't be helped, it will help knowing your own culture. That is what can help the level of understanding within your family.
Something to think about.
You know, a pattern of beliefs and behaviors shared by a group of people.
We all know our specific cultures depending on where we live, and maybe we know our specific cultures of our religion as well. But did you know that cultures exist within families as well? Meaning, your own family can make up its own culture.
Now when learning about that part, I stopped for a little bit to think about what my family's culture would be made up of, and I'd encourage whoever is reading this to do the same. It's interesting to start viewing your family from the outside and finally recognizing these things that make your family what it is.
Whatever your culture is, it makes up your family system. What goes and what doesn't, what's weird and what's normal. Here are some things to think about with your family:
Some families might have cultures where they encourage differences or new ways of thinking that's outside of the family. Or if your family is like mine, they may not really welcome that sort of behavior or feel comfortable with it or think that it's weird if someone "goes outside the norm".
You might also have to think about changes in your family system that affect your culture. For example, separation in the family can cause a change of roles. If the parents are gone for an extended time, the children might bond more with the closest grandparents or uncle that takes care of them. This causes a shift of culture to follow the standards of those grandparents or that uncle that might be different from what it was with the regular parents around.
I think that usually family cultures aren't something that we decide on and set up on our own or something that we can just change as we please. I think they're something that is unconciously formed along with the formation of the family. However, even if the system of culture in your family can't be helped, it will help knowing your own culture. That is what can help the level of understanding within your family.
Something to think about.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
What We Do Without Realizing
So we all know that there's some things in our families that you just don't do right? Maybe it's something like when someone marries into your family and the first greeting they get is, "Oh by the way, don't ever mention Grandma's name around Uncle Phil... It won't be pleasant."
Or maybe it's not as blunt as that.
In most family systems there are family roles, which are the specific roles you play in your family (maybe the peacemaker or the one to go to about gossip), and then there are family rules.
Family rules are an unspoken list of acceptable and unacceptbale behaviors that are allowed in your family. If you're lucky, they might be spoken straight forward like Uncle Phil's. Or the unfortunate cases may be when the rules of what's acceptable are found out through trial and error. Yikes.
Get to get your mind rolling on how your family functions and what your family rules might be, I thought I'd share a few of mine!
1. Show no affection
2. If you act like a victim, you won't gain attention
3. Don't get upset when made fun of or you will just get picked on more
4. Learn to come up with good comebacks or you'll drown
5. Speak your mind
6. Like movies/shows or you will have nothing in common with us
Hopefully that sparks a light bulb to help you analyze your family!
Or maybe it's not as blunt as that.
In most family systems there are family roles, which are the specific roles you play in your family (maybe the peacemaker or the one to go to about gossip), and then there are family rules.
Family rules are an unspoken list of acceptable and unacceptbale behaviors that are allowed in your family. If you're lucky, they might be spoken straight forward like Uncle Phil's. Or the unfortunate cases may be when the rules of what's acceptable are found out through trial and error. Yikes.
Get to get your mind rolling on how your family functions and what your family rules might be, I thought I'd share a few of mine!
1. Show no affection
2. If you act like a victim, you won't gain attention
3. Don't get upset when made fun of or you will just get picked on more
4. Learn to come up with good comebacks or you'll drown
5. Speak your mind
6. Like movies/shows or you will have nothing in common with us
Hopefully that sparks a light bulb to help you analyze your family!
Friday, September 25, 2015
When We Think We Know Better
After my first week in this class, something came to my attention
about the world today that I feel I need to share with the world...
The family is pretty much backwards from how it should be.
I think we all know that for the most part, this is how the stages of people's lives go:
-Graduate from college
-Land a good career/apartment
-Date someone seriously for 5+ years
-Move in together
-Continue living the same separate lives with separate careers all gearing towards our ideal career position
-Delay marriage because we're comfortable where we're at/scared of divorce
-Forget about having kids until we're in our mid 30's. Then maybe we'll have one or two. Better make it one.
I think that sounds about right? But here's my opinion after living in the world and looking at the data... I think doing things that way is going about them all wrong.
Lemme just throw out a few stats real quick to give you an idea of what I'm going to be talking about.
We all know delayed marriage has been increasing in this country. People are getting married on average at the ages of 26 (for women) and 28 (for men). I'm assuming enough to say that this is also connected to the decreasing fertility rates in the country. Because people tend to get comfortable in their careers and they wait until they think they are "financially ready" to have children, they don't usually end up having any until their mid-late 30's. Well, (according to my research on Google) fertility starts to decline for women from about the age of 30, dropping down even more so after they hit 35. The likelihood of getting pregnant falls as women grow older.
Here's another I found that might be a little surprising.
Those who cohabit are much less likely to get married - living together first before marriage does not help you succeed.
Another cool little thing I learned from my teacher for today, and I'll be finished!
-The average couple on their way to divorce has on average 10 areas of significant incompatibility.
-The average couple that has a successful marriage.... has on average 10 areas of significant incompatibility.
Bottom line is: stop thinking too hard about this. We were meant to live and be happy and take risks (that apparently can turn out better than you think.. it's all in the mindset) instead of worrying our lives away working restlessly because we think that'll help us better in the future. The future is now. Stop worrying about precautions, and just do it. Get married, have babies. Because that's going to be way more fun and worth it than you're new promotion or your never ending single life that's afraid of change and commitment.
The end.
The family is pretty much backwards from how it should be.
I think we all know that for the most part, this is how the stages of people's lives go:
-Graduate from college
-Land a good career/apartment
-Date someone seriously for 5+ years
-Move in together
-Continue living the same separate lives with separate careers all gearing towards our ideal career position
-Delay marriage because we're comfortable where we're at/scared of divorce
-Forget about having kids until we're in our mid 30's. Then maybe we'll have one or two. Better make it one.
I think that sounds about right? But here's my opinion after living in the world and looking at the data... I think doing things that way is going about them all wrong.
Lemme just throw out a few stats real quick to give you an idea of what I'm going to be talking about.
We all know delayed marriage has been increasing in this country. People are getting married on average at the ages of 26 (for women) and 28 (for men). I'm assuming enough to say that this is also connected to the decreasing fertility rates in the country. Because people tend to get comfortable in their careers and they wait until they think they are "financially ready" to have children, they don't usually end up having any until their mid-late 30's. Well, (according to my research on Google) fertility starts to decline for women from about the age of 30, dropping down even more so after they hit 35. The likelihood of getting pregnant falls as women grow older.
Here's another I found that might be a little surprising.
Those who cohabit are much less likely to get married - living together first before marriage does not help you succeed.
Another cool little thing I learned from my teacher for today, and I'll be finished!
-The average couple on their way to divorce has on average 10 areas of significant incompatibility.
-The average couple that has a successful marriage.... has on average 10 areas of significant incompatibility.
Bottom line is: stop thinking too hard about this. We were meant to live and be happy and take risks (that apparently can turn out better than you think.. it's all in the mindset) instead of worrying our lives away working restlessly because we think that'll help us better in the future. The future is now. Stop worrying about precautions, and just do it. Get married, have babies. Because that's going to be way more fun and worth it than you're new promotion or your never ending single life that's afraid of change and commitment.
The end.
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