"Freeform" and TV Stations Breaking Down the Family

Did you know that The Brady Bunch was the first show on TV that showed a husband and wife sleeping in the same bed? Believe it or not, but before then, TV shows would never allow that to be seen. They either had them in separate beds or just stayed away from showing it in a scene.

Have you noticed how these days TV shows are far from the Brady Bunch?
Now of course I'm not suggesting that we switch back to being THAT conservative necessarily. However, it's quite a jump that TV has taken, don't you think? Nowadays TV producers are scared to put anything on TV and I mean anything and quite frankly I think it's effecting us and our views on everything in life.

Don't take me as someone who only advocates for G and PG rated movies and wants to destroy anything else. But it's the fact that these things we see daily on TV, are not wholesome and normal environments. Every family that we see in shows these days is very unhealthy.

Think about all the comedy shows that we enjoy watching. Once we get past the jokes and aspects of it that makes it funny, you start to notice how mean the wives are to their husbands, how dumb the husbands are portrayed, and how dishonest and unloving everyone is in the family. I'll admit, it might make it more entertaining, however that is not true. Most families are not broken down that unhealthily. No TV, not every family has had parents that have committed adultery or a son/daughter that is bisexual or gay. While trying to cater to these more uncommon situations so that some families don't feel left out, they have gotten caught up in it and turned it into our whole world, meanwhile healthy families where there is no betrayal or dishonesty have become the minority.

What happened to traditional families?
TV stations are slowly but surely breaking down the family system.

ABC Family, was once what it was. Then when they began breaking away from what they stood for they turned their slogan into "A new kind of family". It's supposed to be for the family but now it is full of garbage when you think about it. But because they were still under contract with their providers, as long as they were ABC Family, they still had to show The 700 Club, which is a religious program. So they put it late at night when nobody would see it on TV.

Now, if you haven't heard, ABC Family is changing and calling themselves "Freeform".
It seems, to me that this is a step to breaking even farther away from the family, following the spiral downhill that so many other TV stations have taken, eliminating any chance for us to get real and good exposure to how a family is supposed to run.

Is Dating Going Out of Style?

What makes a date, a date?

In a nutshell it's:
 -Planned
-Paid for
-Paired off

But what's considered dating today? Besides "Netflix and chill"...
Dating has gone out of style. But then people will say "Wait but I'm dating him though!" But that's the thing. The definition of dating has changed and I think it's beginning to be a problem. We aren't being formal anymore or respecting each other enough to make a date or call it what it is. Guy's don't open doors for girls, and girls don't except them too anymore.

Nowadays, we use dating as term meaning that we're in an exclusive relationship with someone. Today, people seem to be scared of the word! It's like a virus to us because we're worried to bring it up to the other.
People are worried to say that they're dating until they become boyfriend and girlfriend. But then, the other problem with that is - do people really still go on dates after they're in an official relationship...

Dating has become less formal and less obvious. Instead of planning out an activity and time, the guy paying, and being paired off with a specific date, we're saying "Hey so uh...I'm bored, wanna hang out on my couch?"

When we're in this (what would be courting) stage we're always more cautious and unclear now using terms like "hanging out" and we're "talking" because we don't want to imply the crazy idea that we actually like each other. Weird huh?

 I think there's a fear around the word "dating" now and there's more pressure on the word because dating is a status now not an action.
So here's my idea: We bring back dating. We bring back courting. We need to step up and stop this cowaring in "talking" phase and call it what it is. Show your true feelings. Guys are gentlemen and open doors for ladies. The girls respect themselves more and raise their standards of dating. And boom. Problem solved.

Okay maybe not entirely, but enough to bring back that beautiful old fashion sense of love and romance that every girl longs for. You know you've seen those Nicholas Sparks movies.

Boys & Girls: we're not the same

This week I want to talk about a sort of sensitive subject at this day n age...

Gender roles. The differences. And yes, there are differences. 

During my studies and research and many classes that I have taken and discussed this subject in, I have found that certain differences are there in our brains and genetic makeup that make us girls different from you boys.

I think we can come up with the obvious differences right off the bat that in most cases are true.

Female traits:                                                                    Male traits:

  relationship & detail oriented                                            action & spatial oriented

  communication driven                                                       task driven

  naturally nurturing                                                             naturally provider

In one of my sociology classes we discussed these differences and gender roles. We watched a video where they did an experiment on the differences between the genders by interacting with an observing a bunch of young kids. What I thought was really interesting that they found kind of goes along with what we found in class; it seemed that with the children whose parents made sure to raise them "gender neutral" and give them gender neutral toys all the time, still had the same habits and played the same way the rest of their gender did. If the boys were handed pink girl toys, they would still find a way to play with them in a destructive way or knock things down with them. The girls, no matter the differences in the way that they were raised and no matter the toy, still somehow turned their playing into a type of role playing, like house, teacher, etc. They were still more focused on the nurturing aspect throughout their playing.

The parents, when they viewed these results, were more or less surprised by what they learned. This was mostly because some parents had tried hard to raise their kids a gender neutral way so that their kids could learn to and feel comfortable with identifying with whichever gender they later decided they identified with. But the studies and observations showed that whichever way these kids were raised did not make a difference. It seems to be just a part of their genetic make up that they are born with. Boy and girls are just different.

We can act toward our children in the same way, but they react differenly.
And the most important thing that I think we need to remember is that we need both of these roles in life. There is a reason we are created differently - to balance each other out.

We need to "complete, not compete with the opposite sex".

Cultures & Systems

Most of us know what a culture is right?
You know, a pattern of beliefs and behaviors shared by a group of people.
We all know our specific cultures depending on where we live, and maybe we know our specific cultures of our religion as well. But did you know that cultures exist within families as well? Meaning, your own family can make up its own culture.

Now when learning about that part, I stopped for a little bit to think about what my family's culture would be made up of, and I'd encourage whoever is reading this to do the same. It's interesting to start viewing your family from the outside and finally recognizing these things that make your family what it is.
Whatever your culture is, it makes up your family system. What goes and what doesn't, what's weird and what's normal. Here are some things to think about with your family:

Some families might have cultures where they encourage differences or new ways of thinking that's outside of the family. Or if your family is like mine, they may not really welcome that sort of behavior or feel comfortable with it or think that it's weird if someone "goes outside the norm".

You might also have to think about changes in your family system that affect your culture. For example, separation in the family can cause a change of roles. If the parents are gone for an extended time, the children might bond more with the closest grandparents or uncle that takes care of them. This causes a shift of culture to follow the standards of those grandparents or that uncle that might be different from what it was with the regular parents around.
I think that usually family cultures aren't something that we decide on and set up on our own or something that we can just change as we please. I think they're something that is unconciously formed along with the formation of the family. However, even if the system of culture in your family can't be helped, it will help knowing your own culture. That is what can help the level of understanding within your family.
Something to think about.